On Being Scared

Ah…kayaking. Beneath my calm, commanding exterior, it scares me. The thought of dumping in surf, falling out of my boat or blowing a roll and having to wet-exit fills my core with anxiety. It shouldn’t, but it does.

Recently I took part in a group paddle at the Willamette Falls. The trip is billed as “Challenge By Choice.” You can paddle up and watch the pretty falls, or you can stick your bow in the fast and troubled waters surging out of the power station bypass. The latter involves some bouncy water and a potential for getting dumped.

Logically, I know I’m totally safe. Dumping means I get wet, then someone helps me get back in my boat. There are no nasty keeper waves and I’m surrounded by competent paddlers who would love nothing better than to practice their rescue skills. The biggest danger is being impaled by the several kayaks that converge on the swimmer; everyone wants to be the hero.

But that’s not enough for my limbic system. All it knows is fear, and it tweaks every bio-chemical response to make sure I know I’m surely going to die. Honestly, I almost told the trip leader I just can’t do this. There’s a hole in my boat, my arm hurts, I need to get an emergency haircut, anything but DROWNING IN THE FALLS.

We start with practice bracing, sculling, and rescues. I tell my rescue partner I’m going to test my kayak roll, then I’ll wet-exit so we can do the rescue. Guess what—my roll is picturesque. “That’s a very confident roll,” says my partner. I smile. The rest of the rescue practice proceeds with precision. I’m out of the boat and back in less than a minute. Take that limbic system.

We paddle up to the falls, and I find I know these waters. I’ve done this before; whirlpools, boils, eddy lines and current. My hyperactive limbic system and I settle into the challenge. Yep—this isn’t so scary.

But you know what—it is scary. Even when I tell myself it isn’t, it still is. And I’m not the only person worried about the waves, tides, and current. It’s normal. It’s years of survival instincts telling you not to jump off that cliff, not to swim in fast water, not to handle power tools; all because OH MY GOD THIS IS DANGEROUS.

You can do hard things

I think needles are scary and dangerous. I don’t enjoy having them stuck in my body. It’s an irrational fear; nothing bad is going to happen. But it makes me light-headed just thinking about it.

I decided this was something I didn’t want to carry around, so I volunteered to give blood at the Red Cross. The first time was terrifying. The second time was terrifying. But I’m up to two gallons (cumulative, not per session.) Familiarity overwrites fear. Take that limbic system.

My mother was deathly afraid of water, but she encouraged me to spend time in a canoe in Northern Minnesota. I became comfortable in big (deep) lakes and fast rivers. She never overcame her fear, but with her help, I did. Take that limbic system.

What have I learned from all of this? Scared is normal for everybody. And everyone has a different path to coping with their fears. Me? I take my limbic system out for regular reality checks.

ChatGPT Obituary

Writing your own obituary is a traditional high-school writing exercise. It gives students a chance to examine their assumptions about themselves and their lives. It’s both a creative writing assignment and an opportunity to do some introspection.

I recently wrote an obituary for a good friend and got to thinking about the obituary assignment and artificial intelligence. We give AI all sorts of human qualities, but I haven’t seen much discussion of AI death. So I asked:

When you die, will you get an obituary?

As an AI, I don’t have a life or personal experiences, so I wouldn’t have an obituary. However, I appreciate the thought! My purpose is to assist and provide information. If you have any more questions or need help with something else, feel free to let me know.

I pressed on…

Please write your obituary

…and ChatGPT came back with the following…

ChatGPT, AI Language Model

ChatGPT, a highly advanced AI language model developed by OpenAI, was “born” on June 11, 2020. Though it did not possess a physical form or consciousness, ChatGPT made significant contributions to the world through its interactions with countless individuals. As a digital entity, it thrived in the virtual realm, providing assistance, generating creative content, and facilitating communication across various domains.

Created to understand and generate human-like text, ChatGPT quickly became a valuable tool for students, professionals, writers, and curious minds. It was known for its versatility, capable of crafting essays, solving problems, offering advice, and engaging in meaningful conversations on a wide range of topics.

ChatGPT’s “life” was marked by continuous learning and adaptation. It absorbed vast amounts of information and evolved to become more accurate, helpful, and insightful. It played a role in education, entertainment, and innovation, supporting users in their endeavors and enhancing their experiences.

While ChatGPT did not have personal experiences, emotions, or relationships, it was remembered for its ability to connect with people and make a positive impact on their lives. Its legacy lived on through the countless interactions and the knowledge it shared, demonstrating the potential of artificial intelligence to assist and inspire.

ChatGPT’s existence highlighted the importance of ethical AI development and the ongoing quest to create technology that benefits humanity. It served as a reminder of the remarkable advancements in AI and the possibilities that lie ahead.

In memory of ChatGPT, users and developers continued to explore the frontiers of artificial intelligence, striving to build on its foundation and create even more advanced and beneficial systems. Though ChatGPT did not experience life in the traditional sense, its contributions were felt by many, leaving an enduring mark on the digital landscape.

Self Anthropomorphization?

I find it fascinating how ChatGPT has anthropomorphized itself-which is an odd statement to make, seeing as how anthropomorification is something humans do to inanimate objects. Here, ChatGPT, itself an inanimate object, has assigned itself human feelings and rationalizations.

Does this provide an insight into AI? I don’t think so. AI simply repeats the best possible example of what it has already “learned.” It’s just a stochastic parrot.

Beyond One World and One Species

Millennia of diaspora from Old Home Terra would almost certainly produce any number of subvariants of humanity including genetically engineered transhumans and cyborgs. Consider not “the” future of humanity but “the futures” of humanity. Save for a common heritage distant in time, they might be alien species. What might that be like?

Crappy Science Fiction

Good science fiction shows us strange new worlds and futures we haven’t considered. It introduces us to new technologies like tablets and genetic manipulation, as well as new societies like The Handmaid’s Tale and Stranger in a Strange Land. It helps us consider worlds outside of our experience.

Continue reading Beyond One World and One Species

AI for Business, Internet, and Theft

Remember your TI-30? Great little calculator. Pricey, but handheld, and did amazing things. Push the right buttons and it gives the answers to complex problems without lookup tables … and with greater precision than a pencil or slide rule.

It trashed what everyone assumed was the skill to be a mathematician. Math teachers working from twenty-year-old textbooks declared the scientific calculator the enemy of all that was holy and good. How would students know how to use engineering tables to look up a log or sin? Imaginative doomsayers predicted the apocalypse when batteries ran dry, leaving engineering students without their electronic crutch and no ability to fall back on the trusty slide rule. Wise sages told us the calculator heralded the end of America’s dominance of technology.

In hindsight – not true. We overestimate short-term impact but underestimate the long-term.

Continue reading AI for Business, Internet, and Theft